Holiday mode

Today, I didn't do anything PR related nor job search related. Oops.

Instead, I spent the day doing really aunty things it's almost embarrassing!

I woke up and ended up pruning my tomato plant outside. That took a good 15minutes and a sore back. Then we went for brunch and sat there eating and chatting and laughing at silly things.

After dropping K off at uni, Zorro and I went grocery shopping and I came home and started cooking. Soon it was time to walk the dogs probably for a good hour because they looked pretty deprived. Dinner. After which I made tomorrow's lunch for the cuzzies with some leftovers that I cannot bear to see in the fridge for another day. And now Im waiting for my Cantonese drama to load so my day would be complete!

What a carefree day! I wonder how many more of these I get to have. A part of me loooooves this 'holiday' because I can do anything and everything I want. But a bigger part of me can't wait to get workin again! And as each day passes, I'm painfully reminded of how I'm jobless and still using dad's $$$!!! Ahhhhh so much guilt!!!!

Pizza night

This is easily my favorite dinner whenever I'm short on time or lazy or hungry or whenever!

It's a piece of cake to make. Pita bread, tomato base. Meat, roast vege, leftovers, etc- the sky's the limit! Cheese. Bake. Top it off w some lightly dressed salad leaves. Pita pizza done!

Oooohhh how I've missed making these babies. Hehe. And I always feel happy watching K eat so much vege without complaining!

Breakfast for champions

Today, after a week being here, I finally had the Aussie brekkie I have been craving for!

As much as I love my laksa and kolo mee, I have missed the English breakfast.

So we went to St Ali along with K and his family. The staff there are suuuuuuper nice and the coffee is good apparently.

Well, to be honest, I'm not exactly a coffee person. For me, I have days where the thought of having a cup makes me nauseous and days where I simply can't stay awake without it. And, I can't really tell a good coffee from bad. Plus, I've never really been fussy. As long as it's hot and there is no burnt aftertaste, I'm happy. This is just the opposite of people like my bro and sil, K, sexeh, janeh and a gazillion others esp here in Melb. They are so critical of every sip they take and a bad cup can potentially spoil their mood.

Back to St Ali. The food is pretty good here. I had these fritters that were supposed to come with poached/fried eggs. Because I'm not a fan of either (sorry guys) I asked for a swap to scrambled eggs. And can u believe the nerve of the people here- they charged us an extra $4.50 just for that -.-"""" Tsk tsk tsk. Lame.

Here's my yummy but overpriced corn fritters w scrambled eggs. Photo ripped off K's sis' fb! Hehe.

#foreveralone

However heavy the rain pours, someone nearby is equally going through a storm as well.

And however heavy the rain pours on you, there's always someone with an umbrella JUST for you, always. God makes sure of it.

You are never alone.

Rainbows

Today, I am in Melbourne.
Yesterday, I was in Kuching.

Today has been surprisingly good. From the smooth procedures at the airport, a nice surprise and scribblings on a scrunched up tissue paper at the airport gates to the friendly catch up with the cousins.

Honestly, I have not had much time to think about how much I miss everyone back home except when I see their whatsapps and texts.

But, most of all, something else really made my day. You know who you are o kind soul who gave me the below. No, it's not just the smelly frog peeking out, perched over the edge of the cup (SO CUTES). It's also what's behind the panda and in that bouquet of flowers. On a day like this, that truly made me smile :) Yes, yes too much cheese but you know that's how I like it! Haha. But reading it, it's almost like you're still there, just across from me- like nothing's changed.

Thank you. I love my birthday present!

Current mood: Sad.

Goodbyes

Yesterday K left for Melb. As I drove away from his house back home after saying my goodbyes I couldn't help but shed a few tears.

Yes, he's leaving and we will be doing LDR for... A week? Haha.

But when he bid his family farewell, it was really sad watching his grandma holding his hands giving him her pearls of wisdom and him hugging his maid goodbye. I knew he was pretty sad and close to tears when he hugged them. He told me before, as we were lugging his bags to the car that "his heart feels so 'weak'". I knew he couldn't believe summer break just flew by and it's time to leave the fams to study again.

I really understand how he feels exactly. And when I think about it, that's gonna be me in exactly a week's time. Sigh. It's almost time my little holiday ended. It's not the reality of working that saddens me, well not just that, but it's more the leaving home and the comfort my parents provides me that really breaks my heart.

I really, really hate goodbyes.

Drink pass

Tonight I asked mum to reconsider letting me work here instead of Melb. I even pulled the if-you-allow-me-to-stay-I'll-skip-the-Ielts-tmr-and-get-straight-to-job-hunting-here!

Fail.

Yes, I have stupid Ielts tmr to try and get that elusive band 8 for writing. I still think it is SO DUMB that I have to sit for this dumb English test when I've studied English all my life and I've been studying in Australia for 6 whole years now. How bad can my English be dammit?

Anyway, back to Mamah. So that's a no go for staying here to work. But guess who's got a drink card on mum? :))))

I made a deal with her that I'd shut up about the whole staying here to work and just be a good girl and go back to Aussieland and work. In return, on my dad's bday dinner this coming Thursday, she drinks as much alcohol as I tell her to drink!!! Pinkie promised.

FYI mum is a terrible drinker. A few swigs of wine and she can't stop talking! Which is why it's SUPER rare that she drinks. But we all loooove tipsy mum cos it's just really funny. Now, I have the power to order whatever I want for her and get her to drink however much I want her to!

Oooooohh I'm so excited! Hehehe am I mean or am I mean!

Re-turn

Today, I had a slice of humble pie.

Recently, there's all this hype about a certain Jeremy Lin. To be honest, i wasn't too intrigued in the beginning. I kept hearing how good a basketball player he is and that was as much as I knew about him.

All that changed when K made me watch this YouTube video of him, the funny one about how to get into Harvard. And what caught my attention was how God orientated he is. And so I watched a few more interviews of him claiming how wonderfully God has blessed him in his journey. From there, only did I bother to watch his highlights and realize he's actually a pretty awesome player and all this linsanity, justified.

But, one video really struck a chord. His testimony. Listening to his life testimony I really had a reality check.

Now that I've graduated, everyone is talking about me earning the big bucks. About how money is gonna come rolling in. How my career is set. Bla, bla, bla, all that jazz. I always ignore these uncomfortable comments because I KNOW the reality of it is it's not that extravagant being a dentist.

But, all the money talk has slowly crept up on me. I start thinking of working to earn more money so I can give something back to my parents. Earn more money so I can share some with my bros. Earn some more so I can treat my friends as a thank you. And even more to buy things that I want without feeling bad for making a dent in my parents wallet. Just money money money.

I know there's nothing wrong with working hard to earn a steady income. I'm not that naive to not know money does in a lot of ways make the world go round. And I know I'm very blessed to have this opportunity to be a dentist hopefully in an overseas country. I know all that and I get it.

But, I was reminded from that video that there's more to it than money. Well, at least for me, there's always been something more.

I recalled the little dream God had put in my heart when I was still in my early years as a dental student. I was reminded of the kind of dentist I aspired to be. My prayer before going into EVERY exam during my last few years of study had always been the same. For God to graciously guide me through the exams all the more to be His soldier, to do His will with and through dentistry as a profession.

And sure enough, here I am. God has graciously got me through 5 tough years and blessed me with this wonderful opportunity.

Watching that lincredible testimony really humbled me. Can I whole heartedly pray that same prayer? It scares me how easy it is to lose sight and focus on God and I haven't even been unleashed into the working world yet.

I know it's not going to get easier. But, as I am reminded today, in God I will trust because He has never, ever let me down. And suddenly, I am excited for what this next chapter has in store for me again!

V for love

This year K and I got to spend our 2nd Valentine's day together :)

And this year, we decided to have dinner and a movie. At home.

That's right, we decided to skip all the dressing up, fancy dinner, overpriced flowers, and expensive gifts.

I told K no flowers, no presents. And, I was in a huge oversized mashimaro nightgown, with my hydrating mask on, with zero effort to at least look presentable. Yup, I really set the mood there.

Well in all fairness, I did light some candles which totally made the ambience. And, I just had to surprise K by making his favorite tiramisu cake (ning's recipe. Thanks ningers!!!!)

And, K had a lil somethin for me too- a love letter, which I absolutely love!

A few weeks ago a friend had posted up a link on Facebook to a site of a little competition for the best love story out there. So obviously a gazillion couples sent in their love stories and being the nosy, super free person that I am, I read quite a few.

Inspired, I asked K to write OUR love story, not to enter the competition but just for me to read. K being K obviously agreed just to shut me up (the secret to a relationship people :)) But we both knew noooo way was he gonna write no love letter.

Anyway, today, being V-day and all, I asked him for my love letter, pretty certain he's got nothing! Or that he'd feel bad and rush home to type a short paragraph or something just to make me happy.

But, lo and behold, he sent me a page long email of our story. Every account so perfectly written I almost don't believe it's by him if it weren't for the details in there.

A part of me would really love to post it here because it IS so precisely our love story, but a bigger part of me wants to keep this our private little story. So, take my word for it- it's beautiful, to us.

Anyway, happy valentine's day from the both of us. No matter what, someone loves you- friends, family, partner, God!

Click

K and I need help.
Last night, the both of us just sat in bed playing Temple Run all night long trying to break our high scores!

It's really really addictive! I made my nephew play it and he has been hooked since. He even followed me around the house last night just so he could have my phone to play.

K is already in the 2.5 million club with his high score of over 3 million. As for me, I made the million club today! Woo hoo! My life is complete! But not complete enough! 2.5million club by tonight, I don't care!

Yes, that's how pathetic we are. V day is tomorrow and all we wanna do is just sit here and play Temple Run on our phones -.-"""
I think we need an intervention..

Roof on top

Today, I haven't seen dad this happy since I graduated last December.

It's nice seeing him like this. So happy that he's beaming the instant I walk into his room. So happy he can't even sleep. So happy as he browse through nearby attractions on the Internet with brother 4. And when's he's this happy, mum's so happy too.

Well, dad, together with brother 4, got a simple little home for us to stay in Melb. It's no fancy house; in fact, it's pretty old. But dad's just relieved we have a place now. I guess I really had him worried for quite a while now with my living arrangements this year and he's very glad it's kinda settled now.

Well, I'll let him soak in all this happiness for a while before the reality of what this means financially kicks in :s yikes!

I am so blessed. Thank You Lord.

Me and footy

I wish I were more interested in football for my boyfriend's sake!

I don't exactly hate the game. I remember once upon a time in high school I too was just as excited as everyone else came the World Cup season.

But times have changed. I still wonder what's it with boys and football. I guess it is exciting cos I always see K cursing and squealing and shouting just like I do everytime I watch the Australian Open.

I don't mind sitting here accompanying him watching the match though, that's what smartphone games are for :)

But even I feel sorry for K having me as his company while watching the games. When he's on the edge of his seat as his favorite team is nail bitingly close to scoring a goal, I'm clearly disinterested with my eyes glued to my phone. When the opponent scores and he curses, I laugh at him (it's really quite funny watching him scream). When he's watching the game so intently rooting for his team, I'm taking pictures like these! Haha!

Freeze

It's really really easy to point a finger at others and think the worst.
But it's like they always say, three fingers are pointing back at you as you point one at others.
I pray God intervenes every time I'm about to extend my arm.

Making bread

Last weekend, papa decided to teach me how to make "mantao". It's this plain bun, bread thing.

It's a piece of cake to make. It just takes patience and a bit of muscle.

For those that care, all you need is a pack of flour, 1/3 packet of shortening, 4tsp of bicarb soda, a small packet of yeast, about 550ml water, sugar to your liking (we went for 2 tbsp which is really as good as sugar-free, ie. less tasty). Sorry the measurements are so pathetic but that's really how I remembered it.

You just mix it all up into a dough and knead it till its smooth. Apparently, the longer the better. Shape it into little buns and let it rise for 30min. Steam it for 10 and tada!

It's that simple and pretty fun.
I was just happy watching dad teach me the works while telling me stories of his childhood where he used to wake up early to make these mantao with my grandma before he went to school and that they tasted awesome straight off the steamer with a huge glob of butter slapped in between.

And I was even happier watching him grin ear to ear when they turned out a success, obviously very pleased with himself!

I think he was even happier when the grandson praised dad of how delicious they were and that he too wanted to learn and make MORE with dad!
Needless to say, daddy was pretty happy that even this little rascal of a grandson was eager to learn and help!

It just makes me smile how sometimes even the simplest of things such as making mantao can make us happy :)

"even heroes have the right to bleed"

Today was another one of those nights where mum and I just laid in bed chatting about anything and everything. Mum is such a girl, curious about every little detail that it's actually quite cute. I love how she trusts me enough now for me to share everything with her.

It's nights like these when I just miss my parents which is stupid since they are right in front of me.

When I look at dad forever eating weird concoctions and taping heat plasters all over his body, my heart gets heavy. Dad used to jog almost every single day- he loves it. Even the rain didn't stop him from his jog then. He loves walking, exploring towns whenever he's on holiday.

This trip home he's stopped jogging altogether. His knees have gotten worst and they must hurt so much that he's decided to stop jogging. I dont know, I've never wanted to ask. His pace has slowed down tremendously. But I have never heard him once complain or groan or anything. He just quietly rubs his knees with ointments, religiously takes his glucosamine and slaps plasters over his knees.

I remember early last month, we went for a little trip down to my parents' hometown in Sibu for 2 days. We walked everywhere. I knew dad was tired and I'm pretty sure his legs were killing him, mine sure were. Most times I had to deliberately slow down just so he won't get left behind. But no matter how tired or how painful it must have been, not a word from him. Instead he still insisted on walking to some far away restaurant to eat just because he wanted me to try it. Or that he insisted we walked by the waterfront first before we went back to our hotel so he could show me the boats he used to take as a kid to go to the next town. Or that we'd walk some more to the shopping centre so I can have a look and see if there was anything I liked. And even at night after a long tiring day of walking he still wanted to walk to the night market so I could have a look. Basically it was sooo much walking I know his knees must have been hurting but he just wanted me to see and enjoy everything that he just put up with it and walked with me and mom everywhere.

Don't even get me started with mum. Sigh. She's lost so much weight this year. Thankfully it's not from illness or anything bad but more so a lifestyle change. She's exercising regularly and eating proper healthy meals everyday. But sometimes I look at how skinny she is it makes me sad but its quite silly cause she's healthier now so I should be relieved. I don't know, maybe us foochows always like a bit more meat haha.

Anyway, when I look at mum, I just wonder what drives this insane woman. She works non stop. She wakes up super early to make breakfast AND packs lunch for herself, grandma, dad, my 2 bros and sometimes the grandson. And mind you, breakfast ain't just toast and boiled eggs. I'm talking porridge or noodles or wholesome stuff like that. And lunch isn't some tuna sandwich or crackers. There's always meat, vege and rice. And they're cooked in the morning, not leftovers from the night before. So imagine how early she wakes up just to prepare this for them every single day. Then it's off to work the whole day. When she comes home she starts cooking again for dinner. I think she only gets to fully rest from the long day after 7pm. And because we don't have a maid, she does everything herself- from washing the clothes to washing the car. And she does this every.single.day. And she doesnt even complain.

Where does this woman get her strength? To me, it's just one word. LOVE.

Mum is really an amazing woman. Not just for taking care of us but for putting up with us. All 5 of us kids and my dad all have very different personalities but we have one thing in common, we always let it out on mum. She puts all of us first before herself, thinks of us first before she thinks about herself, buys things for us first before herself, let's us all eat first before she eats so there's enough to go around. A mother's love...

As I look at both my parents, age is undeniably creeping in. I really pray they stay happy and healthy for as long as possible.

Am I doing the right thing staying back in melb? I've missed 6 years worth of family celebrations since I went to melb to study. And I never realized how sad it made me feel until I saw pictures of everyone together eating and cutting cakes and playing lanterns and all those kinds of things.

I wish I weren't such a coward.

Im just gonna look real hard for a job once this break is over. Start earning my own ka-ching. And take care of my parents! 23 years, it's about time the tables turned.

2012

Is it 2012 already?!?

Well, the days dont feel any different from those of 2011 but I still can't believe it's a whole new year already! Time is flying!!!

I remember starting uni last year thinking "omg final year! Am I gonna survive and graduate".
And BOOM here we are.
2012.

2012 is a strange new year for me. For the first time my life is undecided. All these years it's always been clear; study- kinder, primary school, high school, college, uni.

Now what?
People say go back to Australia to study. People say work there for a couple of years before you come back if you do want to come back to Malaysia. People say get your Australian pr and don't turn back. People say this, people say that.

For now, I'm just going to blindly follow everyone's advice and apply for my Australian pr and hopefully find a job in Aussieland. That's the plan.

But, there's always always a part of me that wants to stay here in Kuching where I feel most at home.

Oh well, people win. For now.